Irritated!

You know what's disconcerting?

It is when somebody tells you to clean your room and her room is not even clean.

It is when somebody tells you to throw away your things but not hers because she thinks they're too messy.

It is when she says go buy a new shoe rack when more than half of her shoes are on the available rack but her shoes are rotting because she doesn't even use them.

It is also disconcerting when she notices your habits like eating a lot or when she notices your belly saying that its too big and yet you go to the gym. But she lets you eat everything that are leftovers in the fridge.

Other than the fact that she even has a say on how you fix your clothes in your cabinet and while your away she goes over your things afterwards telling you at dinner why you like watching porn a lot.

She can't do this to her son.

She can't do this to her daughter.

But she can do it to me.

All because I'm just somebody renting a room in her place.

And look I pay dearly and I pay well. In fact I pay on time!

I don't think it merits more than picking on me nor the idea of looking down at me and as I feel it I don't even deserve to be told "You have to fix your room because that is the rule of the house!" When you never tell that to your son and daughter.

Yes I'm tired and I'm really damn pissed.

How do you think I felt that insincerity? That painstruck discrimination?

It was when you'd rather let me stay in a room downstairs where I had to cramp myself and my stuff while there is another room upstairs bigger and better and free for the taking that you wouldn't want me to use because you'd rather have a "korean" rent it.

And only when termites stormed my room and almost ate my bed from beneath and when my clothes were almost eaten that you even blamed me for the termites tellin me that I never checked my things that I had too much stuff that I wasn't clean enough.

I swallowed everything you see I swallowed all of it. Because in my heart I owe you everything that I am now. That when I was young you took me in and helped me to where I am now.

Or at times when I can't ask you to let somebody special sleep at my room while I sleep at the sofa on the living room.
Your son could let anyone sleep in his room as well as your daughter but not me.

Not me.

See I'm thankful really. I love you guys but it's been a year of futility.

I even have to buy a lock and key and a small hardware box to keep my things just so you'd never look at some important things as if you own everything I do.

Look I never went in your rooms.
I never scrutinize them nor tell you to throw your things away!
Everything you do to your things I left them all to you.

But it's just irritating so irritating specially in the morning.

So now I have another goal and I'm placing this in my itinerary for the next year.

I'd have to say goodbye to the free food and the free television.

I'd have to say goodbye to the free laundry and the use of computer.

I'd have to say goodbye to you. And everyone,. I guess times had been happier but this is the end.

Thank you and I love you guys!

(My apologies... I'm really pissed... sorry)

-_-